Thursday, 7 July 2016

Inner ramblings of a moron

Can we just all take a minute to acknowledge how crappy dating is in 2016? Like seriously?
Why is it so hard?
Dating apps? Hell no! I recently downloaded one just to see what it was like and honestly the copious amounts of request you get for threesomes and casual sex is ridiculous... And to add insult to injury the dating company itself made me a "upgraded user" because of the amount of messages I received! Thanks POF make me look desperate!
Also how the hell did my account get hacked within only being active a day?
Why so many stalkery men as well? I admire your persistance! But... No I'm not interested, no you can't have my number, no I don't want to meet!!!

Adjusting to being single is weird... But certainly freeing, I can definitely talk to anyone or see anyone I like and I must admit I'm loving that...

The real question is, am I looking for a new relationship or am I just looking for myself? (Cliché as fuck I know) But since breaking up with my last dickhead I have woken up in a good mood everyday and have been feeling very optimistic about the future.. I don't feel scared anymore, and I'm not bothered about what people think of me! That's got to be good right?

I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this post it is definitely the inner ramblings of a moron (hmm I like that! Title name I think)

So I found out recently if I like someone and I feel awkward in their company I reduce myself to just annoying them! How childish is that? Really must learn to stop doing that! 🙈
Why as the female race are we so self deprecating? (Or maybe it's just me)  It's one of the main things I hate about myself... I have a feeling that may be why I have such problems in the dating world... I just can't take a compliment, and it's not because I think you're lying because you may see me that way, it's more of a thing of I wish I saw myself the way you do? But if I did would I be more happy? Or would I just find some other flaw I think I have?

And why aren't guys interested in me for more than like 3 days? I know it's me I get that, but there's something you should know about me, I'm not a very dependent person anymore... No I won't message you all the time, because I feel like I'm going to be annoying you, but that does not mean I'm not interested in you! Eurgh relationships and meeting people is difficult! I think that's why I've remained in past relationships before because I just got comfortable with just exsisting and not living (cliché again but true)

So this year I have definitely cut ties with a lot of people, and I definitely feel better for it, it's amazing how cutting a few people out of your life can make everything change,  I don't hold grudges about anyone but sometimes you just out grow people, or for you to grow you need to do it on your own. It comes to a point when you look back at past relationships/friendships and think there was more bad times than good, and that's not healthy! Do I miss them? Honestly... No, I'm now happy with being on my own and I don't feel the need to be in constant contact with another human, plus I feel as though a shit tonne of negative energy has been removed from my life!

On a good note though... I've learned that I can be myself and happy without antidepressants and anti anxiety tablets... I'm not sure if that has anything to do with past stuff (see last blog post) but I definitely feel better not being dependent on tablets!

Also can we take a moment to acknowledge how amazing yoga makes you feel?

Oh yeah one last thing... How much Red Wine is too much Wine to drink on your own? Ha!

NicoleeJayne
XoxoX